Just a typical day...

Bathroom Project

We are pleased to announce that the bathroom project is completed! It looks absolutely fantastic and we are so happy with the results. We are so thankful to all the help we got from our generous church and family! We have already given Ellie a few showers and it is so much easier to do in the new shower. Thank you so much to everyone that helped us!

Here are some before shots:







DURING:



AFTER:







You can view the whole project album here.

Daily Life

Things have been going smoothly over here. We have quickly fallen into our old routines of a family of five. It feels good to be back to normal, but then I wonder if that is somehow dishonoring Hannah's memory. It is hard to balance the remembering with the moving forward. Yesterday Hannah would have been 4 months old. It pains me to think about what could have been, if she had been born healthy.

Ellie is struggling with a fever today. It started yesterday, and she spent most of the day sleeping and breathing hard. The fever lightened up in the evening but is back at about half-strength today. So far I am pleased with how she is handling it, but I miss her alert eyes and smiles.

Some big news around here is that we have been approved for 180 hours of respite care per year (comes out to about 15 per month). We have been very blessed to have a friend and nurse from the NICU agree to fill those hours for us. So, we plan to go to a wedding this month, just me and Adam! It has been 2 years since we have been alone, just the two of us (unless you count my c-section where my mom had Ellie in the waiting room)! We are looking forward to some opportunities to do some activities alone.

I have also trained a friend from church who is a pediatrician to stay with Ellie occasionally while I run errands or do fun things with the boys. She came for the first time last week and what a blessing that was for me to go shopping by myself! Thanks Jamie!

Another big thing we have been working on is a bathroom remodel. Our loving and supportive church and family have been helping us install a handicapped shower so that we will be able to bathe Ellie more easily in the years to come. It has been a long and exciting project that is supposed to be done at the end of this week. I look forward to sharing it with you via pictures or a tour when it is finished.

So that's what is going on around here. We have been doing really well considering. We praise God for Ellie's health and stability. We praise him for his sustaining grace as we continue to grieve. We thank you all so much for the prayers, cards, and many blessings you have showered on us. I feel so unworthy to have your love and support!

Decorating the Tree

Hot-tubbing

One of the highlights of our vacation was seeing how Ellie reacted to the hot tub. It was so amazing to see her grin as we lowered her into the hot water. She smiled the whole time she was in there!

It was also very relaxing for her to be in the hot tub. Her tight legs relaxed, her heel cords relaxed, her body became comfortable and loose. I think it was very therapeutic for her to be in the water. I moved her legs back and forth and she was able to feel all the sensations. I'm sure she enjoyed feeling weightless and relaxed.

Now I just need to figure out how to get a hot tub for her at the house! ;)

Home again

We had a fantastic time on our vacation! It was such a relaxing and enjoyable time for our family. It really is a great place for us to stay with Ellie--it is not stressful to have her along with us at all. It is such a blessing that Adam's parents have this timeshare and let us use some points. This year we invited our friends the Hunters along with us. It was nice to have friends for the kids to play with, as well as some extra hands to help watch Ellie.

We have a million photos to go through; I am putting them all in an album. Here is my favorite so far:

Vacation

Tomorrow we are leaving for a vacation at the Wisconsin Dells. We were there last year and had a fantastic time. We are looking forward to resting and relaxing, as well as spending time with some dear friends.

Everything about this vacation makes me think of Hannah. Tomorrow Hannah would have been three months old. It still breaks my heart to think that she is gone. She should be with us on our vacation, but instead our family picture will look the same as it did last year, right before I got pregnant with her. There will be just five people in the picture, not six.

Of course, we thought our dreams of ever going on vacation again vanished when Hannah was born. There was no way we could do this with two special needs children. But now that she is gone, we have a bit more ability to do things like this. So, again, I am drawn to thinking of Hannah, and how her death actually made this vacation possible.

I guess all big events in our family will make me think of Hannah--how she should be here with us, or how her being gone affects our lives. And so it should be; she is a part of us that will never be forgotten.

Last year: