Wednesday, July 29, 2009


When is my baby sister going to be here, Daddy?

We were able to move up the c-section date so that there is less chance of going into labor before it is scheduled. We really don't want to take any risks with prolapsed cord or an unstable lie. So, Monday, August 3, I will be going for an amnio to check lung maturity. Provided that goes well, the baby will be delivered via c-section on August 6. Eight days!

There are no updates as to the health of the baby. No one even wants to venture a guess. It is crazy to think after all this unknown and waiting we will know one way or another on August 6. We are trying to prepare for either scenario, but it is really difficult to do. Your heart dreams of snuggling a healthy baby girl, while your head tells you about all the odds and bad signs and worst-case scenarios. But we plunge forward on this path that God has placed us; we are guided by a deep desire to glorify God and learn what he would have us learn.

Thanks for thinking of us and lifting us up to our Heavenly Father.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


We were called last evening and our ultrasound was pushed up to this morning! No time to worry, not that I do that anyway ;)

Going into the ultrasound my prayers were that baby girl would show signs of strength and have a bigger stomach. I didn't pray for the fluid to go down, because really that is a done deal.

It was very comforting to know that today is a day of prayer for our church and everyone was praying for us, even though they had no idea I was going in for my ultrasound this morning.

We started with a fluid check. I have 41 cm of fluid! That is up about 10 cm from 2 weeks ago. Normal is 15-25 I think. No wonder I am getting so uncomfortable. Like I said, this was not too surprising, since I can barely bend over and we knew there was a fluid problem. Of course, this is not a reassuring sign, since it is following the same pattern as Ellie's pregnancy did. But we also know that extra fluid can mean nothing in and of itself.

But... Baby's stomach was the biggest they had seen in all of our ultrasounds so far. In fact the tech said that if it was her first time doing my ultrasound, or if she had seen a normal stomach earlier on, she would not have even mentioned the stomach, it was that close to normal. The doctor also said the stomach was the biggest he had seen so far on our baby girl. So that was very good news. We also saw some good movement during the ultrasound and of course everything else looks perfect-heart, brain, etc. And baby has lots of hair :)

We talked to him more about tone and movement, and he said that he has seen babies with no tone and our baby does not look like that. It is so hard for us to reconcile that with the other signs we are seeing, yet we are so reassured that even if there is swallowing problems there will possibly be better tone than Ellie has (which is none). With genetic problems like Ellie probably has, there can be greater and lesser severity as it plays out in each person. So, this baby could still have what Ellie has but have a lesser severity. 

So what is the plan? We are scheduled to do an amnio on August 10; I will be 37.5 weeks. We will be checking for lung maturity. If the baby's lungs are ready (I'm assuming they will be, since all my babies came around that early, with Ellie coming even earlier than that) the c-section will be a couple days later.

Baby will be checked immediately for a potential trachial-esophagus problem where the throat does not connect to the stomach (a possible cause of this whole mess). They will have to stick a tube down her stomach to see if it is connected. If that is the problem, we will be thankful that she is otherwise normal, but sad because she would need to have immediate surgery. So, kind of a lesser of two evils. Of course, there is also the chance that she will come out and need breathing support and be sick like Ellie. And the best case scenario would be a completely healthy baby. What a blessing that would be!

I am concerned that 37.5 weeks will be too late for the c-section, since Ellie came at 37.  I am afraid of this all going down before then as an emergency and out of control, but I will talk to my regular OB more about that on Friday.

So how are we doing with all of this? We are holding fast to HOPE in Jesus Christ. We praise God that we have not lost our faith in his loving plan and perfect salvation. We trust that we serve a loving God, as there is no greater proof of that than when we stand at the cross.

We have also felt the pain of a broken heart again and again. We cannot deny the hard times as well as the times where we feel supported or encouraged. But we do not go through the valley alone. We have been comforted by God's grace and the prayers of fellow believers. We cannot thank you enough for your prayers. I read the blog comments and emails over and over to gain strength each day.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Some Not-so Reassuring News

Friday we had another ultrasound to check on the fluid levels and on baby's stomach. Unfortunately the ultrasound showed that the fluid has increased significantly and the baby's stomach is still small. This is not reassuring news. Nothing can be set in stone at this point, since they cannot test for Ellie's specific condition (since she is undiagnosed) but these are soft signs that point to the same issues that Ellie has. The signs of extra fluid and a small stomach could be because the baby is not swallowing well. There is still a possibility that this is all a fluke though too.

As you can imagine, we are quite worried and upset about these findings. It is hard to imagine why this could be happening to us. But we rest in the truth that our God is in control-he will never leave us nor forsake us. All things happen to his glory, and we rest in him.

Please, please pray for mercy on us and our baby. I will try to keep updating, but please keep in mind that it is very difficult to experience these same emotions again that we felt almost 2 years ago with Ellie.